June 17, 2020
I’ve had so many changes in my life. I have to say, and this is not self-piteous, because I have had a very interesting life and I’ve lived in different countries and I’ve become expert in many things, but I have always been an outsider. And so I made major changes by moving from one country to another, the geographical change, thinking this will make things better. And I actually had good times where I was, but I always felt an outsider. And every change I made was… I worked in Montreal. I moved there from New York and then I moved to Paris. Then I went to London and then I came back to New York and each time was a totally different life, you know? And of course, my inability to commit to a trust, that was the problem. And the changes didn’t really make that much of a difference in my internal mindset.
So there isn’t any one specific one, but the reason that I first moved out of the country was that I was in psychoanalysis and my shrink was avoiding the Vietnam war. He was Canadian and he went to Montreal, so I just followed him. I mean, what a reason to move, but as I said, I don’t know. It really didn’t change the behavior that I needed to change.
And actually about four years ago, I was diagnosed as being high-level Asperger. So that was the reason, you know what I mean? And although I’ve made many changes, I still have to say to people, “Listen, if I do something to upset you, let me know, because I don’t know and I can change.” If I know what I’ve done, I can change. So that’s not really a sad story, because in each place I had a wonderful, wonderful life…