Love Changes

Oct 29, 2019

Well, my first love back up was 17 and like Ms. Brown say you, you’re fascinated with it. You know, and somebody tell you they love you besides your parents. You think that’s the world, you know. And then gradually later on in life, we all went the same high school, junior high school together. He was my friend, you know, we used to sing together and travel together and we went to the football game together. He was a football player and I was always to the game, cheer them on with my family, my brother and everybody. And then later on in life I thought I was in love, what I thought love was supposed to feel like. And we produced two kids, my two sons, and it was the best thing that happened to me, my two sons. And as I got older I wanted something different, cause I was raised down South.

So I took my kids and came to New York with my grandmother when I was 18 years old. And I’d been in New York ever since. And I made a life for me and my two kids, my two sons. And to make their life a little different. And I raised them in New York to be young men’s try not to be in no trouble. You know, I did the best I could, what I knew at that time, you know? So I think I did a pretty good job. And for the love of my kids, that’s part of they father. So I’ll always love him, but I fell out in love with him. You know, we became friends, but I never felt love like that no more. That particular, young part of my life. You get older, it’s a different type of experience you go through… it don’t balance out.

You know, you get older, you’re learning different, your growth, loves amazing thing. Sometimes it’s so close between your hate and love, so you get confused because you think somebody today love you, then they go out and mess with other women’s and they come back, Oh, I still love you… in an up and down. But the respect and all of that is part of love for me. Right? I know long as you treat me right and respect me, then that’s love to me. Because that feeling you get, it could go away. Trying to hate, but they didn’t respect me, you respect my kids you got to take care of my kids, bruh you mess with my kids then you mess with me.

And you didn’t feel like you had that respect?

Not as being a woman cause I was… me and Ms. Brown, we was raised different. No matter what, you stood there with your kid, you raise your kid with that particular person. That’s the way he was raised. But I had respect, but I was young, like she said, I was young and I wanted something different and something better. So, I moved from where I was at to New York on my own.

And did the relationship remain friendly at least?

Yeah, I have two kids by him. So that was my, my love story.

I had to grow up early cause I had my baby when I was 16 and then I had my next son when I was 18 so I had to get out and work. I had to provide. I had to get a babysitter. I had to do all of that as a single mother. Cause see I’m not longer down…I’m my own in New York. But thank God I had my family around.

So they can help me as I go along. And then I had Ms, my neighbor was Betty and all my neighbors. I’ve been here over 40 some years. Yeah. I raised my kids here, so always had good neighbors to bounce back on. So these are my extended family, Paul and all those, we know each other. Yeah. So I loved them. Yeah. I really do love them.

That’s true love. That’s the true love.

Right. And I love the ladies in the center too. You might not see them all the time, but you can feel it. Like we respected y’all. And that’s part of the love I like cause we all have a different age now and we need each other. So, that was my story.