My daughter

My greatest accomplishment is raising an independent, smart, self-sufficient daughter. Because many mothers, and they say this to me, and I don’t get it, they’ll say, “Oh my daughter is my best friend.” And I said, “You know, your daughter is your daughter, you’re a parent.” I did not raise my daughter to be my best friend, I have friends. So when I had her, Hector was in town. And it took me a long time to realize that I had reached that sanctified title of motherhood. You know, you need a license for everything but anyone can have a kid. And some of us are better at parenting than others. I raised a daughter who doesn’t need me. She’s in the country, at her husband’s family’s country house, they wanted to get out of the city. She now has 2 children. Since they’re spending so much money, I said, “I want to give you some money, what’s your bank account number and what bank, so I can put some money in.” And she says, “Oh no Mommy, that’s really very nice of you, but I don’t need anything.” I said, “Oh my God, this is unheard of! A daughter refusing money from her parents. What is the world coming to?” And sometimes I feel odd that my job is obsolete. I don’t have a job as a mother. Because she doesn’t need me! I hear a lot of complaints from people and how upset this gets them, and I’m perfectly delighted.

That was the plan. I sent her to an all-girls school so she can build a community of women that would be there for her. She had like 8 bridesmaids, which was like 7 too many, but they were all from her school. She’s just really self-sufficient, so I guess I did a good job. That’s my accomplishment. She’s emotionally independent, financially independent, she’s knew what she needed in a mate. I read somewhere that most women spend more time deciding what shoes to buy, than they do picking a husband. You know? That’s the most important decision you’ll make in your life – a partner, and women don’t spend enough time figuring out what their needs are, and selecting. My daughter’s name is Degan. Degan did. She knew exactly what she wanted, she dated a few men. Everyone wants a doctor, I say, “Oh dear, I hope she gets along with this guy.” Because we really want a doctor! But he was really withholding, and not demonstrative, so that didn’t work out. And the young man she has now understands her perfectly. So I have a daughter who doesn’t need me anymore, who is doing very well, so I decided a few years ago, I was trying to get my husband interested in fostering – being a foster mother. And you know he said, “No thank you. I’m away a lot. You’ll have to handle it alone.” So that was the end of that. But that was my greatest achievement. That I raised a New Yorker who can fend for herself and I don’t have to worry about her, because she has the most important thing: common sense.